April 27, 2015
I am writing because I have a dilemma. I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was 11 (I am now 44) and have been following Him ever since. I was baptized as an adult. I am now a mom with three young children (10, 8, 4), and I am married to a Catholic man.
He does not attend church anymore because he is “disgusted with the changes.” He attended so we could be married; he made a very big deal about being married there, and then again—so our two older children could be “infant baptized.”
I have been bringing our girls to a Christ-centered Bible believing church. I have invited him several times, usually because of something to do with our children. Well, fast-forward to now; my older children have been going to church and Sunday school with me: AWANA, where I teach, and they have attended a Christian school all their lives. Both kids have accepted Christ as their Savior and have asked to be baptized. (I keep praying for my husband.)
Our church is offering a Believer’s Baptism next month and both kids have asked to be baptized and I believe that they are mature enough to make that decision. So my daughter asked her dad if he would come to our church because she wanted to be baptized. He proceeded to yell and scream at all three of us. He said:
“You were already baptized as babies and you do not need it again and your mother has disregarded my religion and beliefs.” And he said wasn’t going to step foot in a Baptist church. Well he made both kids cry and he said a few other things and I got the kids off to bed, reassuring them they could be baptized if they want, and told them I would talk to him again about it.
I am not sure what I need, just a listening ear or advice. I have been reading your RR column since it started and I enjoy learning what others are going through and how you have helped them and in turn are helping themselves. know I have support from my family for my kids and of my husband’s sister (she left the Catholic church after 50 years).
She accepted Christ as her Savior and was baptized about a year ago. I do not think I am wrong for wanting my children to grow up with God, with Jesus as then center of their lives, and not Catholicism. I guess I am wondering if I am guiding my children in the right direction, please help if you can.
Your sister in Christ,
The best thing you can do is to keep praying for your husband’s salvation and for peace in the home. It sounds like your children are getting good Christian teaching. But they are about to learn more about the growing pains of life considering that their father does not want to participate in the things that are important to them.
It does not sound like your husband is going to get involved in anything to do with Christianity (at this time). At least he has allowed them to attend a Christian church and school. That is a huge plus. You are not wrong in wanting to raise your children the way you are.
But now you are facing the consequences of marrying a non-Christian, which we are commanded not to do (2 Corinthians 6:14). But you cannot undo the past. I am sure you had the best of intentions when you married him, and may not have understood that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
The best suggestion I can give you is to try to explain to your children that your father is not doing this to hurt them, but that he himself is quite confused about what and who God really is. Also ask their aunt who is the former Catholic to speak with them, and try to give them support. Perhaps she can attend their important functions along with others in your family.
As their mother it is important to show Christian love toward their father and not show a lot of anger and disappointment. But of course you can express concern and faithfully pray together for his salvation. Prayer is powerful. Keep holding your husband up before the Lord in prayer; we know all things are possible in Christ:
“For with God nothing will be impossible” (Luke 1:37).
As far as the water baptism, it is not a requirement for salvation. Your girls may have to wait until they are older if their father is so strongly against it right now. There is no easy solution to your dilemma. Perhaps your husband’s redeemed sister could try to carefully speak to him to see if he might go along with allowing the girls to get baptized.
If she cannot get through to him, I think you should drop the idea for now. A lot can change with time, especially with fervent prayer. Be grateful that your children have had the opportunity to be raised as Christians thus far without much opposition.
We serve a mighty God who is surely looking out for your entire family. My prayer is that this situation will make your husband think more about why he himself does not attend a Catholic church—which he so dogmatically defends. It sounds like he’s outnumbered in the household with a Bible believing family. (Praise the Lord!)
May the Holy Spirit get to him soon and open his spiritual eyes so he can realize the truth and come to salvation in Christ. It does happen, never give-up on the idea. Keep praying believing for your husband’s salvation and for peace in your home. I wish you all the very best. And please let me know how things are going every now and then.
In God’s love,
“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven” (Matthew 18:19).