A Voter’s Guide to Biblical Characters

By Jonathan Brentner


With the time to vote rapidly approaching, I wonder which biblical character might do well against Hillary in the upcoming election.

If we could replace Trump with someone from the Old or even the New Testament, who might that be? Could he fare better in this year’s election and defeat Hillary?

Let’s look at how some of the characters from the Bible might possibly do in the 2016 presidential election if they were to run against Hillary Clinton.

Jacob

I’ve always liked Jacob. He seems like someone who could be a great leader if given the chance. He always finds a way to get things done although it doesn’t always look so pretty. While the matter of the stolen birthright and blessing might come up, he and Esau have reconciled so that should not be a problem.

Oh, but Hillary would certainly highlight the matter of the wives and their servants during the campaign. I can just picture Rachel and Leah battling it out on a daytime talk show; that would end his candidacy for sure. Jacob would never succeed as a candidate.

Joseph

What about Joseph? He certainly has fantastic experience serving as the second in command over all of Egypt. Amazingly, he correctly interpreted the dreams of Pharaoh and then on the spot devised a plan to store up grain during the seven plentiful years so they would survive the seven lean years. We could certainly highlight his economic wisdom in any campaign.

However, there’s the matter of Potiphar’s wife. We know Joseph is innocent in the matter, but Hillary and the media would surely work day and night to prove he was guilty. Can you imagine the endless CNN interviews of Potiphar’s wife? Oh my! Perhaps Potiphar himself would intervene on Joseph’s behalf.

I’m sure the media would dig up other women, as well, to falsely accuse Joseph and convincingly back up the story of Potiphar’s wife.

Before long, even Christians might be repeating the mainstream media mantra, no doubt started by Hillary, identifying Joseph as a misogynist or worse. Let’s keep looking for a better candidate.

Moses

With Moses’ training in Egypt and his experience leading the Israelites, he might be the ideal choice to put up against Hillary. Who could question his leadership ability in confronting Pharaoh and in leading the Israelites out of Egypt? He kept the struggling Israelites together as a nation during the forty years they wandered in the wilderness bringing them to the brink of entering the Promised Land.

However, there is the matter of the plagues. I’m certain as the media recounts the number of firstborn killed in Egypt as result of the last plague, things would turn ugly for Moses in a hurry. Even Christians might refuse to go to the polls or vote third party. And, it would only be a matter of time before Hillary’s campaign digs up something from Moses’ past to make him look especially bad.

We need to find a better candidate; perhaps someone who could bring down the house at a debate.

Samson

I wonder if Samson might appeal to the younger generation today. His long hair and strength could perhaps persuade many of the millennials to vote for him. Oh, but he has a big negative. He was a womanizer and unlike Joseph, it’s an issue we cannot deny. He has a poor track record. Despite his early victories against the Philistines, he will never amount to anything. How could the Lord possibly use someone like Samson to further His purposes?

David

David! Why didn’t I consider him earlier? With his fantastic military career and outstanding record as king, who wouldn’t vote for David, the giant killer? Many regard David as one of the great kings of all times. He established Israel as a great nation paving the way for the peaceful and prosperous reign of Solomon.

Perhaps no other king in history can boast of such great military achievements to go along with such a stellar economic record that led to forty years of prosperity for Israel following his death.

Oh, but he would lose the evangelical vote for sure.

Once Hillary began harping on that sticky matter with Bathsheba, we would never hear the end of it. Her campaign allies in the media would quickly join her in denouncing David.

We could bring out Psalm 51 as evidence of his repentance, but that would not suffice against the constant media attacks regarding the incident, which would no doubt highlight David’s multiple wives.

No, regardless of his moving confession, Christians would never look past his adultery and collection of wives. How could an apology for that ever be genuine? David would never receive enough votes to win.

Peter

Then there is Peter. Although impetuous at times, the Lord Himself recognized his leadership abilities; what better recommendation than that? His diverse career as a fisherman, disciple of Jesus, and then as an apostle leading the early church would no doubt appeal to many voters.

On the other hand, we do have to consider his propensity to say stupid things at times. With his impulsive nature, he certainly would stick his foot in his mouth more times than not during the campaign. With his tendency to overreact, we could never trust him with a twitter account. We need to keep looking.

Daniel

I think Daniel might be the perfect candidate. Despite the best efforts of his enemies, even they could not find anything in his record of government service to use against him.

Sure he would be dragged through the mud by Hillary and the media; it’s what they do. I’m confident; however, Daniel would be able to resist all accusations that would surely come against him.

Many of the Republicans, however, would detest Daniel. The Republicans in leadership, who have willingly compromised on so many issues in the past just to keep their power, would certainly reject him. Daniel would never go along with their compromise, for example, on Planned Parenthood and would likely denounce them for it.

While the Republican leaders might go along with him in public, perhaps remembering what happened to Daniel’s last political opponents, they would certainly seek to undercut his election every step of the way at the same time trying to avoid being eaten alive.

I guess there’s really no perfect candidate to put up against Hillary. They all have flaws; Hillary and the mainstream press would make them all, with the possible exception of Daniel, look like womanizers and far worse. It’s the only way such a terrible candidate can ever hope to win.

Even the best of leaders in the Bible had serious flaws that under the constant exaggeration of the media would make them look bad.

It’s a wonder the Lord could accomplish such great things with such flawed people.

Oh, wait a minute, that’s what the Lord always does! He uses people like us to accomplish great things.

So maybe Trump isn’t so bad after all. Maybe the Lord can greatly use him as well to accomplish great things. Only time will tell.

 

Jonathan C. Brentner

North Liberty, Iowa

jonathanbrentner@yahoo.com

Eternity Versus the Moment