Alabama: “At Least We’re not Mississippi”
Alaska: “11,623 Eskimos Can’t be Wrong!”
Arizona: “Dehyd-rific!
Arkansas: “Litterasy Ain’t Everthing”
California: “As Seen on TV”
Colorado: “If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother”
Connecticut: “Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character”
Florida:” Ask Us About Our Grandkids”
Georgia: “We Put the ‘Fun’ in Fundamentalis
Hawaii: “Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru” (Death to Mainlanders, But Leave Your Money)
Illinois: “Gateway to Iowa”
Indiana: “2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free”
Iowa: “Land of James T. Kirk”
Kansas: “First Of The Rectangle States”
Louisiana: “We’re Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That’s Our Tourism Campaign”
Maine: “Cheap Lobster”
Maryland: “A Thinking Man’s Delaware
Massachusetts: “Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s (For Most Tax Brackets)”
Minnesota: “For Sale”
Mississippi: “Come Feel Better About Your Own State”
Missouri: “Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work”
Montana: “Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else”
Nebraska: “Ask About Our State Motto Contest”
Nevada: “Whores and Poker!”
New Hampshire: “Go Away and Leave Us Alone”
New Mexico: “Lizards Make Excellent Pets”
North Dakota: “Um… We’ve got… Um… Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!”
Ohio: “Don’t Judge Us by Cleveland”
Oklahoma: “Like the Play…Only No Singing”
Oregon: “Spotted Owl, It’s What’s For Dinner”
South Dakota: “Closer Than North Dakota”
Tennessee: “The Educashun State”
Texas: “Se Hablo Ingles”
Utah: “Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus”
Vermont: “Yep”
Virginia: “Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?”
Washington:“Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!”
Washington, D.C.: “Wanna Be Mayor?”
West Virginia: “One Big Happy Family — Really!”
Wisconsin:“Come Cut Our Cheese”
Wyoming: “Wynot?”