I lost my best friend on November 17th, 2024, around six pm, and have been going through the process of grieving and attempting, with the help of sweet Jesus, to recover and find my way in this life without her by my side. It has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster ride, as some days I feel like I am regaining my focus on doing the work of the Kingdom, and other days I find myself weeping what seems like buckets of tears, as I am reminded of her by pictures on the wall and by sweet memories.
We were married for 58 years and together for 60 amazing years.
She left this world surrounded by myself and our children. We encircled her with love while weeping tears of sadness mixed with joy, and ushered her into the waiting arms of Jesus.
If what David says in Psalm 56:8 is true, and I believe it is, then the bottle that Holy God, my Heavenly Father, is keeping my tears in is a very large bottle indeed.
“You keep track of all of my sorrows. You have collected all of my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Psalm 56:8).
I am comforted beyond measure to know that my loving Father in Heaven is collecting all of my tears. This is something so precious to me and so beautiful that I simply cannot find words to express my gratefulness. And I’m thankful to David for sharing this wonderful, dear, sweet truth so many centuries ago with the entire world.
I once wrote an article called “The Gift of Heavenly Tears.” The tears I have been shedding lately are most definitely the heavenly kind.
These tears of mine are also the twofold kind. Tears of sorrow because I miss her so, wrapped up in tears of joy because I know where she is. My beautiful wife Toni, my best friend, mother of our eight children, including our precious Charity whom we lost to SIDS at age seven months, as well as five more that we lost to miscarriages, is with Jesus. Toni Wyn Segoine not only loved Jesus; she adored Him.
She adored Jesus so much that she couldn’t even watch the crucifixion scenes in any of the movies about Him because she couldn’t bear to see Him suffer.
It broke her heart to see Him suffer as He did for us. I admired that about her, and I thank her for such a beautiful witness of pure love and devotion.
I feel closer to heaven now, knowing she is there. I think quite often now, in light of 1 Corinthians 2:9, about how she is doing and what she might be doing. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love Him.”
One thing I am so very happy about is knowing she is free of pain. Toni had a lot of physical pain to deal with in the last couple of years of her life on Earth. The constant physical pain and lack of sleep led also to mental and emotional challenges as well, and never once did she lose her faith. Now she has peace and joy and no more pain. Zero pain.
This causes me to weep tears of heavenly joy for her.
I wrote this song for Toni Wyn Segoine:
I look around…and I see that you are really gone…
You have gone away and left me here home alone…
You know that I’m missing you…So, so bad…
Yet I am so glad and happy for you there in your heavenly home…
You have gone to that place…That beautiful place…
That glorious place where there is no more pain and no more misery…
And when they say to me…Just let it be…Let those teardrops flow…Yes, just let them go…
I will, because I miss you so…More than you’ll ever know…
I miss you even more than I ever thought I could…
You’ve gone to be with the Lord…To Him whom you have adored…
You have gone to be with Jesus, knowing peace and joy forevermore…
And now I pray…and hope someday…
To join you in that place where there is no more pain and no more misery…
I want to be there too…With Jesus and with you…
And with Charity and all of our little ones who were never born…
Along with all of our precious children…Every single one of them…
Together with you and I in the house of our Lord…
And when they say to me…Just let it be…
Let those teardrops flow…Just let them go…
I’ll say this is my song…I love you Toni Wyn…
I hope it won’t be long…Until we’re together once again…
Yes, this is my song…I love you Toni Wyn…
I hope it won’t be long…Until we’re together once again…
May the beautiful blessings of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit be upon all who have lost a dear one and upon all of God’s children…
Rick Segoine