Isaiah 4:1
“And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, ‘We will eat our own food and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by your name, to take away our reproach.'”
I had a conversation with my brother just a few days ago, and we chatted about the lack of dating even in the Lord’s churches. The conversation was sparked from a chat about AI and his belief that soon, many men will simply turn to AI for their needs from a woman. There is a trend happening right now where men are simply not approaching women to date them. Over and over, there are stories of women in clubs, even on dating apps, and there is simply no interest.
One of the things we discussed is how there are organized ‘mixers’ for single men and women to meet, and there will be 20+ ladies showing up, and just a few men, 4 or 5, will turn up. And even then, there is little to no interaction. He mentioned that even in his local church, where there are many single young women and men, there is so little interaction it is scary.
The family is the foundation of a society and, as such, the foundation of the local church. Over the past 5+ decades, we have told young women that a career is more important than family; it is not enough to be a wife and mother; one must have a degree, a career, and make something of one’s self before settling down.
The same people did not remind women that the chance of getting pregnant past 35 years old is very slim, and thus, the chance to be a mother is slim. They get to that 30+ mark, the normal needs to be a wife and mother begin to scream, and they want a man, but it is often too late. Right now, 21% of women between 30-49 are single, and 29% between 50-64 are single. The overall sex ratio for unmarried adults in the U.S. is about 90 men per 100 women; the 30-to-34 age group had the highest ratio at nearly 121 men to 100 women in the U.S. A study from 2023 shows that 57% of singles are not looking to date at all. In 2021, a study showed that 52% of American women were single or separated. This is astonishing.
How does this impact our churches? Well, we know that when a home is spiritually led by the dad, over 90% of them follow the Lord and stay in church. This drops significantly with women-led homes. I do not care how often you knock on doors or do revivals and crusades; no manner of outreach has a 90% success rate. The only one that works like this is the family. So, when our young people put off marriage for school and education or for simply fun and a life with no commitments, churches die, and they die very quickly. The lifeblood of a local church is the family.
We are told here in Isaiah that there will come a time when women will ask one man to marry them; 7 of them will provide their own resources and simply need to be married. God put in us the need to be married. No matter what color, creed, culture, or background, there is a need to marry, to procreate, and the sex drive is there in all people.
Sadly, even in our churches, we have an epidemic of sexless marriages. In contrast, even in our churches, we have an epidemic of pre-marital sex with those who are dating. But men, many of them, are not seeking out women. They are too afraid of losing everything they worked for: their homes, money, and wealth. They are too afraid of having to care for another man’s children, as many single women come with kids nowadays. They would be paying the bills but have no say and no authority. This happens; I see it a lot.
Here in North America, we lied to young women, and the churches drank the Kool-Aid and told our young people to do everything but start a family. Every study and every metric tells us that married women with children are the happiest in North America. But the evil system of the Devil, who knew that 90% of kids born into Christian homes would follow Jesus, sold us a bill of goods, and we paid for it with our churches dying, our young people miserable, single, selfish, and living in sin.
AI will never replace real women. Pornography will never replace real women. Careers will never replace the joy of being a loving wife and mother. Single men make less than married men in general. And when a dad leads the home, not only do churches live, thrive, and grow, but society is better: less crime, fewer prisoners, less teenage pregnancy, fewer school dropouts, and fewer suicides. It is so hard to speak the truth; one sounds like an alien trying to communicate with earthlings. But the truth has not changed: men need women, women need men, children need both parents, and men need to work hard to provide for their families and lead their families to serve the Lord.
The fastest way to grow and sustain a church is for young men and women in that church to marry and to be fruitful and multiply. This is sustained growth; this is not to diminish the need for evangelism and outreach, far from it. Rather, a youthful church has both the able bodies and the able energy to go out and reach the lost. Kids are the lifeblood of a church. We need to find a way to get our young men and women marrying young once again and then having lots of babies.
The time will come when the single women will wish they had a man. I see a lot of them lamenting online. We have money and education, we are beautiful, and yet no men seem to want us. What did we miss? We forgot that there are no such things as independent men or women. God said it is not good for us to be alone. We need marriage, and we need to be sexually active in our marriages. Our children need to see mom and dad touching, kissing, wooing, and loving. Look at how God views marriage:
Proverbs 18:22– “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
Proverbs 19:14 – “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
There are more verses. It looks to me as if God wants us to marry, have kids, and produce more and more people for the Kingdom. But to do that, we have to stop running our churches under the lies of society and follow Biblical rules. What a novel idea!
God bless you,
Dr. Sean Gooding
Pastor of Bethany Baptist Church
70 Victoria Street, Elora, Ontario
