Dormitory = Dirty Room

Desperation = A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code = Here Come Dots

Slot Machines = Cash Lost In ‘Em

Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler

Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one

Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free

The Detectives = Detect Thieves A

A Gentleman = Elegant Man

The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet

This one’s truly amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] 

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. 

Becomes: 

In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten. 

And the grand finale: 

“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” – Neil A. Armstrong 

Becomes: 

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

It’s okay if you’re a little bottom heavy.

Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.

Wearing white is always appropriate.

It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.

There’s nothing better than a foul weather friend.

The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.

We’re all made up of mostly water.

You know you’ve made it when they write a song about you.

Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!

Don’t get too much sun.

It’s embarrassing when you can’t look down and see your feet.

It’s fun to hang out in your front yard.

Always put your best foot forward.

There’s no stopping you once you’re on a roll