A city man was tooling down a country road when his car sputtered to a complete stop near a field filled with cows.

The driver, getting out to see what the problem was, noticed one of the cows looking at him.

“I believe it’s your radiator,” said the cow.

The man nearly jumped right out of his city slicker britches! He ran to the nearest farmhouse and knocked on the door.

“A cow just gave me advice about my car!” he shouted, waving his arms frantically back toward the field.

The farmer nonchalantly leaned out beyond the door frame to glance down the field. “The cow with two big black spots on it?” the farmer asked slowly.

“Yes! Yes! That’s the one!” the excited man replied.

“Oh. Well, that’s Ethel,” the farmer said, turning back to the man.

“Don’t pay any attention to her. She doesn’t know a thing about cars.”

One afternoon in the Artic, a father polar bear and his son polar bear were sitting in the snow.

The son polar bear turned to his father and asked, “Dad, am I 100% polar bear?”

The father polar bear replied, “Of course, son, you’re 100% polar bear.”

A few minutes pass, and the son polar bear turns to his father again and says, “Dad, tell me the truth. I can take it. Am I 100% polar bear? No brown bear or panda bear or grizzly bear?”

The father polar bear replies, “Son, I’m 100% polar bear, your mother is 100% polar bear, so you are definitely 100% polar bear.”

A few more minutes pass, and the son polar bear AGAIN turns to his father and says, “Dad, don’t think your sparing my feelings if it’s not true. I gotta know–am I 100% polar bear?”

The father polar bear was distressed by this continued questioning and asked his son, “Why do you keep asking if you’re 100% polar bear?”

“Because I’m freezing!”