Burglar

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder.

As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!” [Turn from your sin]

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks.

Then the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture at you.”

“Scripture?” replied the burglar, “She said she had an axe and two 38s!”

Bible Questions and Answers

Q: Why do they say ‘Amen’ at the end of a prayer instead of ‘Awomen’?

A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

 

Q: Why didn’t Noah go fishing?

A: He only had two worms!

 

Q: When was the longest day in the Bible?

A: The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.

 

Q: Why did God create man before woman?

A: He didn’t want any advice.

 

Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A: A roamin’ Catholic!

 

Doctor: ‘Your recovery was a miracle!’

Patient: ‘PRAISE GOD. Now I don’t have to pay you!’

 

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A: Even then men wouldn’t ask for directions!