A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist.
When the pharmacist came out, the man asked if he could give him a cure for the hiccups.
The pharmacist immediately reached out and slapped him across the face.
“What’d you do that for?” the man asked.
“Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore, do you?”
“No,” the man replied, “but my wife out in the car still does!”
There were two men shipwrecked on this island.
The minute they got on to the island one of them started screaming and yelling, “We’re going to die! We’re going to die! There’s no food! No water! We’re going to die!”
The second man was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly it drove the first man crazy.
“Don’t you understand?!? We’re going to die!!”
The second man replied, “You don’t understand, I make $100,000 a week.”
The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, “What difference does that make?!? We’re on an island with no food and no water! We’re going to DIE!!!”
The second man answered, “You just don’t get it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a week. My pastor will find me!”