On a hair dryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING

On a bar of soap:
USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP

On a frozen dinner:
SERVING SUGGESTION, DEFROST

On a hotel-provided shower cap:
FITS ONE HEAD

On a tiramisu dessert:
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN (this was printed on the bottom of the box)

On a package of bread pudding:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING

On children’s cough medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY

On a sleep aid:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS

On a Korean kitchen knife:
WARNING – KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN

On an airline packet of nuts:
OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.

Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.

The children fell to discussing the dog’s duties.

“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster.

“No,” said another, “he’s just for good luck.”

A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrant.”