Judge: Did you or did you not see the gun being fired?

Witness: I did not see it being fired. I only heard it.

Judge: Well, that’s hearsay. It’s inadmissible as evidence.

As the witness left the stand and walked back to his seat, his back was turned to the judge, at which point he laughed out loud. Immediately the judge recalled him to the bench and was about to hold him in contempt of court.

Witness: Did you actually see me laugh?

Judge No, but I heard you.

Witness: Isn’t that the same kind of inadmissible evidence, Judge?

If you can’t see behind the furniture or appliances, then it’s clean back there.

An unmade bed will still be there tonight, ready for you to crawl into.

There are three things you can do with dirty laundry:
(Traditional) Wash/Dry/Iron/Fold/Put it away.
(Efficient) Wear it! It’s probably clean enough!
(Philanthropic) Donate it! You wanted to shop for new clothes anyway!

Remember dust and dirt go under the rug. Trash and debris go under the sofa!

Get rid of your dust rags, vacuum cleaner, mops and brooms, and buy a leaf blower.