There are many signs you need to watch out for that could mean you are yet another surf junkie addicted to the internet…

You find yourself typing “com” after every period when using your keyboard.

You turn off your modem and get this empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You start introducing yourself as “Jon at AOL dot com”

Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

You can’t call your mother…she doesn’t have internet connection.

Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

You laugh at people with dial up modems.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You tell the cab driver you live at http://69.luck.street/house/bluetrim.html

Your spouse makes a new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed.”

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :^)

You turn on your computer, and turn off your spouse.

Your best friend is someone you’ve never met.

Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage…so you buy another computer, and install a second phone line so you can chat.

Your dog has its own home page.

So does your gold fish.

Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady were traveling together in a train car.

After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, Clinton had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

The blonde thought – “That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face”

The fat lady thought – “That dirty old Bill Clinton laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him”.

Bill Clinton thought – “George put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me”.

George Bush thought – “I hope there’s another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again”.