A yuppie opened the door of his new BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.

When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

“Officer, looked what they’ve done to my Beemer,” he whined.

“You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!” said the officer. “You’re so worried about your stupid car, that you didn’t even notice your left arm was ripped off!”

“Oh, my gaaawd,” screamed the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody shoulder where his arm once was. “Where’s my Rolex?”

Teacher to a third grade student: “Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they now?”

Billy: “It depends.”

Teacher: “It depends on what?”

Billy: “It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother.”