Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio.

“There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets.”

Ole got up from his coffee and replies “okay, okay.”

Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is, “There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets.”

Ole got up from his coffee and replies, “okay, okay.”

Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is, “There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the…” and then the power went out and Ole didn’t get the rest of the instructions.

He says to Lena, ” Oh boy, what am I going to do now, Lena?”

Lena replies, “Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the garage.”

Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of the most harm.Any line, however short, is still too long.

If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.

If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault.

Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do the work.

We’re making progress. Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

If you want to be well liked, never lie about yourself, and be careful when telling the truth about others.

Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things.

Bulls do not win bullfights; people do. People do not win people fights; lawyers do.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.