The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”

“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”

“Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

“Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?” a parishioner asked his minister.

“Definitely not,” was the preacher’s answer.

“Are you absolutely certain?”

“Yes, my son, absolutely.”

“Okay. In that case, would you mind returning that $50 I gave you after my wedding last year?”