Three old women are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.

One seventy-five year old woman says, “I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee.”

An eighty year old woman says, “My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement.”

The ninety year old woman says, “At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I poop like a cow.”

“So what’s your problem?” asked the others.

“I don’t wake up until nine.”

The road by my house was in bad condition after a rough winter.

Every day I dodged potholes on the way to work, so I was relieved to see a construction crew working on the road one morning.

Later that day, on my way home, I noticed no improvement.

However, where the crew had been working stood a new, bright-yellow sign with the words, “Rough Road.”