A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.”

“Okay,” the man says, “I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.”

“That’s wonderful,” says St. Peter, “that’s worth three points!”

“Three points?” he says. “Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service.”

“Terrific!” says St. Peter, “that’s certainly worth a point.”

“One point? Golly. How about this; I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.”

“Fantastic, that’s good for two more points, ” he says.

“TWO POINTS!!” the man cries, “At this rate the only way I’ll get into heaven is by the grace of God!”

“Come on in!”

10. When God asked “Adam, where are you?” He replied, “The woman you gave me was reading the map.”

9. There was no “standard weight and height” tables – and the word FAT meant good.

8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn’t normal.

7. He never had to shovel snow!

6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.

5. He never had his dinner interrupted by door-to-door salesmen.

4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.

3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.

2. He had no in-laws to drop in.

1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married.