The Mississippi River was flooding its banks and the waters were rising around Clem’s house.

The waters had gotten to the level of the front porch where Clem was standing.

A man in a rowboat came by and called to Clem, “Hop in and I’ll take you to high ground.”Clem replied, “No, my God will save me!”

The river continued to rise to the second story windows and Clem, looking out, saw a powerboat come up. The man in the powerboat called to Clem, “Hop in and I’ll take you to high ground.”

Clem replied, “No, my God will save me!”

The river had now risen to the roof of the house. Clem was sitting on the ridge at the top of the house, with the waters swirling around his feet. He saw a helicoptor fly over and the people inside yelled over a bull horn, “Grab the rope and climb in and we’ll take you to high ground.”

Clem replied, “No, my God will save me!”

The river continued to rise and finally it engulfed the house and Clem was drowned. The next thing he knew, Clem was standing before his God. In anger, he asked God, “I put my trust in you. Why have you forsaken me?”

And his God replied, “What do you want from me? I sent you a rowboat, a powerboat, and a helicopter!”

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.

That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

“Where’s Henry?”

“Henry had a nasty fall and broke both of his legs. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail.”

“You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!”

“A tough call,” nodded the hunter, “but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!”